Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
