The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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