he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
