you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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