4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
