Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
