I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
