In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
