adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
