Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
