I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
