Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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