yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
