why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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