I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
