Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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