Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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