I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
