Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
