I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
