Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
please don't ironically join a cult
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