i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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