We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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