Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
