Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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