ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
