He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
