Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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