Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
