I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
