Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
