Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
