Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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