So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
