I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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