you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
