Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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