so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
