he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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