What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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