He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
