Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
