as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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