The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
