So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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