dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
