do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
