About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
