Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
