He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
