She's JV to your varsity
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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