I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize