how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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