You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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