Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
