i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he was CRYING into my vagina
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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