This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This is the high leading the old right now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize