I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
PANTIES FOUND
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