I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
