Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize