after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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