I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
And then he peed in my hair
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