No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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