It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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