NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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