I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Be still, my beating vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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