I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
