tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
