The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize