maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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