new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize