I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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