Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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