Christians are straight up FREAKS
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
